Lin's Secret and Ingenious File:
by My.Changeling
Summary: Lin gets bored one day and decides to get Naru and Mai together. With Mai's birthday coming up, Lin has all he needs to set this plan into motion. Will a mustache wearing Yasu be in the mix? Obviously! Lin at his greatest, when isn't he? NaruMai love. R


Disclaimer: I don't have a clever disclaimer today, come back later.

This idea came to me in a _really _weird dream. If Lin were to write a secret file about how he (ingeniously) got Naru and Mai together and they read it later... what would happen? I'm seeing an angry Naru in his future.

**Lin: **It _was _ingenious you know.

* * *

_Lin's secret file:_

**I, Koujo Lin, have decided to make this file because, well, I got bored. For your convenience, my comments will be in bold. So, if you're reading this Naru, it means I'm probably dead. Because you probably killed me after reading this. If this is Mai, it means my ingenious plan worked and you are now dating that idiot I have to babysit. If this is still Naru... Get over yourself and ask her out, the worst she could do is throw a teacup at your head. Or, you're just going to kill me for plotting this regardless if it worked or not.**

**If this isn't either one of them then STAY OUT, this has absolutely nothing to do with you. (This includes you Bou-san, because regardless of what you say, not everything involves you.) **

**If this is Madoka, maybe, if this hasn't worked (which I doubt it won't), then maybe you'll be able to get those two together.**

**If this is Ayako... Then I have nothing to say to you. You have no significance to my ingenious plan. I think you were visiting family. Go get Yasuhara or Bou-san to fill you in. (assuming I'm dead that is)**

**If this is Masako... Go away. He. Doesn't. Like. You.**

**If this is John (which I highly doubt) then take care of my funeral arrangements if I'm dead. (seeing as you're the only one I trust to not dismember my body and leave me to rot.)**

**Ps. And further more, not everything **_**should **_**involve you Bou-san. No, I'm not a mind reader. And yes, you are just **_**that **_**easy to read.

* * *

**

_6:35 p.m. Monday:_

"Mai, Tea!" Naru called for what seemed to be the millionth time today. **Really, I think it was the millionth, he likes tea in case you haven't noticed. I think, no I **_**know**_**, he asks for so much because he likes to see Mai's face.**

"Coming Naru!" She cried, jumping up from her position on the couch. She had been sleeping again and if Naru had the impulse to walk outside to get Mai to get his tea then, well, she'd be in serious trouble.

**I, being the stealthy person that I am, snuck around to the closed door to eavesdrop, err, I mean **_**listen **_**in on their conversation. What I heard could be shocking to you Mai and/or Naru because, well, that was the basis I got for setting you two up. Well, **_**if **_**I set you two up.**

"You could say thank you, you know!" Mai yelled. **Where have I heard that before? **

"Why would I say thank you when I pay you to make me tea?" Naru responded. "Besides, it's not like your tea is _wonderful." _

**The following response has been deleted from the story seeing as the vulgar language exibited by Taniyama-san was shocking even to me. **

"Watch your language Mai, I'm sure Lin can hear you." Naru snapped, obviously miffed at the fact that a teenage girl had managed to tell him off, rather _colorfully. _That and the fact that Mai was angry at him.

"I don't care!" She yelled. "It's my birthday tomorrow and you _still _haven't given me the 'ok' to take the day off _and _you told me that if I took the day off I wouldn't get paid. I need to pay my bills you know!"

"Then don't take the day off." Naru said, as if it were the most simple thing in the world. "Besides, you'll have another birthday. Why not spend it here?"

**Ah, so _that's _what he was doing. He wanted her to spend her birthday with _him. _**

**.o0o.**

_7:20 p.m. the same day:_

"Hey Lin, what're you writing?" Yasuhara asks out of nowhere, leaning over my shoulder, trying to read this very file that I'm _trying _to write at this very moment. "Hey, this mentions Naru. A secret plan?!"

I quickly turned around to block his prying eyes. "Nothing."

"Oh don't be such a soil sport." He joked, trying to get around the couch to see what I was typing. Silly child, he would never get my computer away from-

**Hello! This is Yasuhara! I've managed to get this computer away from the scariness that is Lin. This is an excellent plan I might add, if only-**

"Go away." I snapped, getting my computer back. Yasuhara, however, was deep in thought.

"So," Yasuhara sat next to me. "Hey, quit typing everything I say, yeah right there, stop it." He sighed in defeat. "Fine, if you're going to type everything I say then I'm going to talk really fast to get my point across. Iwanttohelpyouwithyourplanandhowareyoutypingthissoquicklyanyway?"

He frowned and took another deep breath. "Okay, I want to help you with your plan and I was wondering if you needed any help."

I looked at him strangely. This could work to my advantage _but _on the other had, he _is _quite loud and-

"Hey, I can see everything you're writing." He said. "Besides, anyone is loud compared to you. You never speak!"

I glared at him. Well, mentally, seeing as I'm typing right now so therefore I am not looking at his face.

"Good, so we're in business?" Yasuhara asked, taking my silence as a yes, (which it was) he smiled. "So, I'll get the streamers and you'll get Naru to come here at dinner."

That could work.

**.o0o.**

_9:30 p.m. Still the same day:_

"Yo!" Bou-san barged in the room, decked out in his rocker outfit. **Which I think is ridiculously stupid looking. Bou-san, if you're reading this, it's true. You look like a cowboy that got stuck in a costume factory. **

Naru glared at him, his entrance was obviously ticking him off. "Do you mind?"

"I mind you glaring at me." Bou-san said playfully, receiving another glare from Naru. Bou-san gave Mai a high-five and a huge bear hug. **What is the purpose of the name 'Bear-hug'? That makes no sense, bears don't hug, they maul you to death.**

Naru delivered another fierce glare at the monk, this time for no apparent meaning. **Apparent being to key word. **He was jealous of Bou-san giving Mai a hug. How odd.

"So, Mai, have any plans for your birthday?" Bou-san asked. She shook her head, throwing an aggravated glance at Naru.

"I have to work." Mai snapped. "_Someone _isn't letting me have the day off."

**I swear, I've never seen Bou-san so mad. He was obviously trying his hardest not to punch the narcissist in the face in front of Mai. I think I might have to dispose of him, his plans for Mai could prove hazardous to the health of the plan. A couple calls to my friends (yes I have some) in high places and he should get a call some NPA agents about his debts. (non-existent by the way)**

Naru frowned, crossing his arms across his chest, his eyes were slightly less cold somehow but he turned around before anyone could notice it. He sighed. "Mai, you aren't getting the day off. Just be here on time."

**Oh, she would be. So would Naru's present to her and that excellent music machine Yasu introduced me to a couple hours ago. I have excellent plans for that little machine. And it would never involve him singing. Trust me, it isn't good. But, this, is for an entirely different plan for two entirely different people...**

**.o0o.**

_3:30 p.m. Tuesday:_

Everything was in place. Every single thing. Now, I wasn't sure that Naru would follow the plan to the dot, so I made Yasuhara be the waiter. Yes, they're going to a restaurant. And Yasuhara will be disguised. He said he could pick out his own disguise but I'm not so sure what he'll do, as long as it doesn't involve a fake mustache.

**.o0o.**

_6:00 p.m. Tuesday:_

Yasuhara adjusted his fake mustache and smiled in the mirror. No one would recognize him this way. He walked out to see Naru rubbing his temples, obviously ticked off that he had no idea why he was here in the first place. Yasuhara had made a call to Naru explaining that Madoka had wanted him to come to dinner so that she could tell him something really important about his parents. He'd agreed of course, just not happily. Yasu saw Mai walk in from the front and make her way to the back. He smiled, he'd told her that Naru wanted to talk to her over dinner. (She had readily agreed)

"Mai?" Naru asked, as she sat down across from him.

She frowned. "You were the one that invited me here."

"What are you talking about?" He looked at her, obviously confused. They sat outside, looking out onto the green scenery and the rather bright full moon. "I'm meeting Madoka here for important business."

"Oh." Mai frowned. "But, Yasuhara said that-"

"Hello!" Yasuhara interrupted. "May I take you order?"

Naru and Mai glared at him. "What are you doing Yasuhara?"

He sweatdropped. Maybe a fake mustache wasn't such a good idea. "I work here part time."

Naru rolled his eyes. "With a fake mustache?"

Yasu laughed nervously and rubbed the back of his head. "I, uh, well you see-"

"I'm leaving." Naru pushed his chair back and was about to leave when he remembered that Mai was sitting across from him. He looked at her from the corner of his eye. She looked dismayed. He sighed, the last thing he wanted was for her to get heartbroken by him. Again.

Mai visibly brightened when he sat back down. Never mind the fact that he did it almost grudgingly.

"So," Yasu smiled. "I'm going to go get a real waiter for you. Just sit tight and you know, make small talk."

Naru rolled his eyes, refusing to look at Mai who was glaring at him. He never showed any emotion and it bugged her to no end, he was so self-centered. _But, _she thought, _he did stay. He didn't have to do that._

Naru finally looked at her. And smiled. **That's right people, he smiled. **Causing her heart to work overtime and her cheeks to turn bright red. She looked down at her plate.

"You know, that plate couldn't be more interesting than I am." Naru said, smirking.

Mai glared at him. "It is, in fact, more interesting than the great Kazuya Shibuya."

Naru raised his eyebrows, she'd never actually come up with something that good. He'd never felt so much jealousy over a plate before either. Wow, he really needed to get a new hobby.

"How so?" He asked, leaning forward.

"W-well," She stuttered. "It's shiny and white."

He nodded, she had a point. The plate _was _indeed shiny and white. He nodded, wanting her to continue. Meanwhile, he was going to plot ways to take that more-interesting-than-him-plate down.

"It also doesn't yell at me to get tea and it doesn't think I'm annoying." She regretted the words as soon as she said them. Naru frowned, he most definitely did not think she was annoying.

"Is that really what you think?" He leaned closer.

She turned bright red. "Well you do yell at me a lot Naru and you look at me so angrily and I'm pretty sure my theory about you thinking that I'm annoying has been backed up on many cases before hand. Like that time you told me I was in love with your dead brother and just walked away before I could- never mind."

Naru winced, before she could what? Tell him that she loved him? She fell in love with the _smile _and that was Gene, not him. He grabbed her hand. "Before you could what?"

Yasu took this moment to put on a very special song. _Hot and Cold _by Katy Perry. **Wait, WHAT?! _Haha, I was just seeing if you were paying attention Lin. No, I didn't put on Hot and Cold. *_glare***

He put on some romantic song that no one could remember the name of. Naru dropped Mai's hand and glared at Yasu. Mai glared at him as well, apparently putting on a romantic song was something you do in movies. Maybe his timing was off or something...

"I don't think you're annoying." Naru muttered, sitting back in his chair, avoiding her gaze.

Mai smiled. "I was going to tell you that I loved you, not your brother. Sure, the smile was what made my heart flutter but it was the glares and the orders for tea that I remember the most. The way you carried yourself made me proud to say I worked with you, no matter how much you got on my nerves, and that I fell in love with Kazuya Shibuya's glares not Eugene Davis' smiles."

Naru just blinked. Her confession stirred something inside of him, something telling him to lean over there and kiss her already. Man, he _really _wanted to kiss her.

"Of course, I'm just babbling, you probably don't care." She got up to leave but he grabbed her hand and the music started playing again. _Courtesy of me, Yasuhara! _

Of course, they were too busy looking into each-other's eyes to notice that the music had started playing again. Naru's lips tugged up in a smile and he leaned down to kiss Mai Taniyama.

"Happy birthday Mai." He whispered and kissed her again.

* * *

_Two weeks later:_

Naru narrowed his eyes as he scanned the last part of the file. This was seriously creepy how Lin had managed to get all of that stuff down without him being suspicious. Mai was laughing into her hand.

"I'm going to kill him." Naru muttered. "John, you get funeral rights."

John looked up at Naru, innocent as ever. "Although, technically, you were the ones that brought yourself together. Talking like that." John rubbed the back of his head. "Although, who would say that you'd even talked if Lin hadn't gotten you to go."

Masako just sniffed.

"What?!" Bou-san yelled, reading that one line over and over again. "That call from the NPA wasn't even _real_?!"

Ayako was laughing hysterically. "That really is a good plan isn't it? I mean, set up the recording device below your table so he could write everything down, then he called Naru and told him Madoka wanted to meet him. All he had to do was tell Mai to go to a restaurant with Naru and she'd be all over that."

Naru glared at her but she continued anyway. "He's got you all figured out."

Mai laughed. "You really thought I was more interested in that plate than in you?"

"It's a possibility." Naru muttered. "Plates _are _shiny you know."

Mai wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him. "Yes, but plates can't kiss you back."

* * *

Did you like it?! Huh, huh? Review for me por favor!


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